Getting started and the fear of rejection
It's taken me a long time to be ready to be where I am. Decades. I started writing fiction before I was a teenager. I never really finished anything in those years because I didn't know what I was doing… I just wrote what I thought was cool, which amounted to a bunch of disconnected scenes across various stories. It wasn't until I was in college that I wanted to start getting serious with it and made the mistake of taking a creative writing class as a freshman.
You see, for a young AuDHD person with Bipolar (though I didn't know it at the time) with a healthy dose of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), this was the worst thing I could have done. The TA who graded my work was, in a word, cruel, or, at least, clueless.
Because I didn't know how reverse psychology worked, I took what she had to say about my writing as how she really felt about it. I didn't realize until years later that she was probably just testing me (and I failed miserably because, hello! Autism!). When she told me my story was awful and that I should stop writing, I believed her. I dropped the class and didn't write fiction for another twenty years.
Thankfully, I one day succumbed to. “the itch” to try again. I began a story… that I never finished (though maybe I will once day). Then I began another, and this time? This time, I finished! And, I must say that the plot is very good. The characters are motivated. The world is engaging. Only, I don't yet have the skill level I want to have to edit it and do a rewrite to meld it into what I know it could be.
Now? I've finished many things. Some things are great. A few things are excellent. I'm working on one of those excellent projects, The Devil's Favor, aiming for publication in 2026, either traditionally or independently.
Lately, things seem to be coming together. I have the manuscript with an editor after which a small press publisher has offered to help get it in front of some beta readers. If things go well, they'll offer a contract.
I've had two short stories published in an anthology, Storms of the Brain. I have a novella, The Last of My Kind, being published in an anthology in early 2026. I've won contests with some of my novellas, which I'm sharing with those who visit the website and sign up for the newsletter. I've started this website. I'm establishing a media presence.
But I'm scared, y'all. I want this. That means I care about succeeding. Which makes the RSD that much more invasive. But I'm also determined. I know my writing is good… and will only get better as I practice more. I just need to not give up. And I want you on this journey with me.
